All
is calm in the Authoress Realm. The
lights are dimmed so as to preserve electricity for the Authoress to
return. And in this dimness, we see the
vague silhouette of a rather small character, peacefully going about its own
business. There’s not quite enough
light yet to reveal this mysterious shadow’s identity, but one would assume it
to be the temporary muse.
Ah,
yes; all is calm in the Authoress Realm.
Of course, it wouldn’t last.
“NO-NO-NO-NO-NO! IT’S NOT TRUE, I TELL YOU! THEY LIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!”
This
sudden outbursts from seemingly nowhere catches the attention of multiple
dimensions, as the mere volume blasts through the barriers easily. With a flash of silvery light, the Authoress
suddenly appears. Once more, she seems
too frustrated to have changed into her typical uniform: currently her ensemble consists of a baby
blue short-sleeved shirt, floor-length [light] denim skirt, black high-heels
(about 2” tall, but really wide heels for easy balancing), two diamond earrings
in each ear, and her hair styled in typical Relena-fashion—minus the bangs, of
course. (1) From the way her arms are
folded and food taps persistently, her mood becomes quite clear.
An
SD Tomoyo-chan appears briefly from The Void, camera in hand.
SD
Tomoyo-chan: Lemme guess; opinions pages again?
Me:
I don’t care if THEY don’t believe in takari…that’s no reason to mock one of
the best episodes in all of season 02!
And thinking the— *twitch* NON-EXISTENT *twitch* —season finale was the
BEST EVER?! And don’t even get me
STARTED on all the Sailor Moon Super S season bashings; why, it’s enough to
make me wanna…
A
voice from the rafters interrupts her mid-rant.
Voice
from Rafters: Mistress, will you come here for a moment?
Using
this opportunity to escape, SD Tomoyo quickly exists on the opposite site of
the realm, back into The Void.
This only further questions just exactly what’s out there…
Walking
towards the staircase, the Authoress passes by a large dry-erase board, chocked
full with various names, times, events, and more. Among the names are Usagi, Chibiusa, Rei, Dorothy, Gene Starwind,
and multiple DBZ characters. The latter
of the group had just recently vanished within the past week, confusing the
Authoress even more in the search for her missing muses. But in the meanwhile…
At the bottom of the spiral staircase, the
Authoress looks directly above her.
Me:
All right, Peeves…what is it this time?
***NEW CHARACTER PROFILE***
TEMPORARY SUBSTITUTE MUSE: “Peeves the
Possessed Printer”
Not
long ago, the Authoress started having trouble with her CANNON printer. Mainly, it wouldn’t print out any of her
anime pictures or screenshots. It
wasn’t long before it also began spitting out pitiful renditions of homework
assignments. Soon after that, the
rebellion began…
Having
come to life through some mysterious force of magic, Peeves is even worse than
its Harry Potter namesake. A communistic Pikachu-worshipper, Peeves idolizes Baby Stewie from Family Guy,
proven by never-ending attempts made on the Authoress’ life. Everything from paper, to BLUE ink, to
spotlights have been used as a weapon.
Needless to say, this homicidal muse isn’t much help to the Authoress,
and she certainly didn’t ask for it…
HEIGHT:
¾ of a foot tall.
WEIGHT: Approx. 8 lbs.
COLOR: Pale gray, with self-painted yellow stripes
FAVORITE FIC GENRE: What else?
Horror/Deathfics.
MEDICAL DIAGNOSIS: Homicidal Maniac with an addiction to sharp objects
***END NEW
CHARACTER PROFILE***
Peeves
quickly hops over to where the Authoress stands, and hands her two electrical
wires.
Peeves:
I’m having difficulty with some of the lighting equipment. Could you hold these for a moment?
Me:
Um…okay…
She
takes the wires without question, and the camera follows Peeves as it hops back
up the stares. The temporary substitute
muse cackles evilly, spilling faint traces of ‘lellow ink in the process. A giant switch comes into view. And I mean GIANT. With big yellow/black stripes. And warning lights. Oh, yeah…and the ten-foot-tall sign in
bright red reading “DO NOT TOUCH!” right above.
But
then, when does a muse EVER do what it’s told.
It
turns out the BIG switch is connected to…you guessed it! The electrical wiring. Without a second though, Peeves reaches up
and grabs the switch, pulling it down by using its outlet wire. Sparks fly as the metal object comes in
contact with the other metal object.
Blue Sparks…can’t forget that, now can we? Peeves cackles evilly at its deed.
Peeves:
Muahahahaha!
But
the victory is cut short by a voice right behind him.
Me:
Come on, how blond do you think I am?
Peeves:
Oh, fudgit…
Yes,
another murder attempt thwarted, much to the dismay of the homicidal muse. Now then, with that little episode out of
the way, we can get on with the REAL fic.
Me:
Hmm…not bad; I only wasted two pages so far… Okay, musy, you know what to do.
Peeves:
*grumble, grumble* Don’t call me “musy”…
A
puff of smoke, and the Digidestined appear.
All of ‘em. Every last freakin’
Destined to appear in the first two seasons.
Rosita:
¡Dios mio! ¿Donde estoy ahora?
Me:
¡No necesito mas español…no SÉ mucho español…nunca escucho a mi profesora en la
clase! ¡¡¡PARE, POR FAVOR!!!
Rosita:
You could’ve just said so. Sheesh! <sees Ken, and glomps him>
Ken:
<starts to turn blue from lack of oxygen> Not again!
Catherine:
Est-ce que quelqu'un sait ce qui continue? (2)
Yuri:
[something in Russian…a language I don’t speak ^_^()]
Jake:
Blimey!
Poi
Brothers: <see Kari and go all googley-eyed>
Me: PEEVES!!!
Peeves:
<innocently> Who…me?
Me:
-_-() If you want something done right,
you gotta do it yourself…
*snap*
The
foreign Digidestined all disappear, seeing as the Authoress can’t even speak
half their languages. This leaves the
Japanese ‘destined, Michael, and Willis.
Me:
<checks clipboard> Oops, sorry
Willie, you’re not supposed to be here after all.
Willis:
NOOOOOO!
Me:
You are the weakest link. Goodbye!
*snap*
Tai:
Um…any particular reason why we’re here.
Me:
As a matter of fact, you should consider yourselves lucky. This is probably the least pain-inducing
experiment in the whole saga.
’Destined:
cool.
Davis:
So, what are we doing?
Me:
Not much. Seeing as you’re not on TV
much anymore, since season 03 is in the middle of a “2 new episodes per week”
run, I thought we’d go over some of the best, funniest, and most memorable
quotes from 01 and 02.
Tai:
Really? What about the movie?
Me:
<rolls her eyes> All right, Romeo, a few quotes from the movie, too.
Tai:
<looks confused> Romeo…?
Sora:
<blushes>
Me:
Now then, can’t forget the most important thing!
*snap*
The
setting this time is rather simple, if most exquisite of them all. The entire group find themselves in a
beautiful Japanese garden, complete with sakura trees gently showering the
ground with their petals. The Authoress,
once again, has changed outfits…this time, in a soft baby-blue kimono. Her blonde hair is pulled back into a loose
bun, secured with blue chopsticks decorated with white flowerings.
Me:
^_^ A Christmas gift from Ashy-chan!
The
Digidestined all wear similar outfits, though each in his/her own crest color
(Davis, Yolei, and Cody each wearing both colors of their digieggs), though the
boys don’t have their hair in chopsticks.
Well, we tried doing that for Tai, but…er…they got lost in his hair.
Simultaneously,
they nod their approval…
Me:
That’s two nods of approval in three fics!
I’m on a roll!
…and
all take a seat around the gazebo.
Me:
This’s definitely the most comfortable outfit yet. All right then…PEEVES!
You know what to do!
Peeves
appears in front of the Authoress, holding out a cup of tea.
Peeves:
Would you like a drink, mistress?
Me:
Why, thank you Peeves.
As
soon as she takes the cup, Peeves disappears back up the stairs, whistling
about as innocently as it never is. The
Authoress stares at the cup for a moment before conjuring up a miniature bonsai
plant. The instant the contents of the
cup are poured in the pot, the plant shrivels up.
Me:
Nice try, Peeves…but any anime fan knows that it’s never REALLY tea…
Peeves
(v/o): D’oh!
Me:
Now, then…
A
projection screen rises out of a nearby stream. Calmly sipping their tea (REAL tea, this time), the Digidestined
ignore moans coming from the fourth wall.
***DIGI-QUOTES***
Davis:
Is this gonna be, like, another one of those MST things?
Me:
<shrugs> Up to you; comments…questions…any input you want, at any
point. This isn’t a humor fic, it’s
more of a tribute. The quotes will mostly be coming in at random, too. <smiles> Told ‘ya it was painless.
Izzy:
Oh, you’re just being lazy cuz you have a birthday fic-in-progress to work on,
too.
Me:
Shut it, you.
“It’s only a bird... A rather
large bird, I grant you... A rather large, ANGRY bird! AAAAAHHH!!” –Phantomon
Sora:
That was a pretty funny quote; I remember fans repeating it
for weeks afterwards…they probably still do.
"Young man, didn't anyone
ever tell you to listen to your elders? Or was it redwood? I could never get
the two straight." – Cherrymon
Tai: <to
Matt> THIS is who tricked you into trying to kill me?
Matt:
<defensively> No…I was only convinced when I looked in a lake and saw
your face…
Davis:
<hangs head in hands> Ladies and Gentlemen, my “mentors.” And you wonder why I turned out the way I
did.
(In mimicking
voice)"Hello, my name is Izzy and I'm very smart. Although I didn't know
how to stop me and my friends from being turned into keychains!" – Piedmon
Original
‘Destined: Idiot.
Izzy:
Although, you have to admit, he WAS one of the most popular evil Digimon ever.
Me:
<looks up from Drivers’ Handbook> You kidding me? Piedmon and Myotismon ROCKED! Well, other than the fact that Myotismon
seemingly doesn’t know when to die…
“How long was I asleep?” - Kari
"Let's just say that while your were sleeping, I had nine lives, and now
I'm down to three." – Gatomon
Kari: Ever
the witty one.
Davis:
<takes another sip of the REAL tea> I’m assuming we’re in season 01 here,
cuz I don’t remember any of this.
Original
‘Destined: You got it.
“Plan Eliminate? What about Elimi-9?” - Gear thing #1
All:
Boo! Bad Pun!
Me: Curse
Jeff Nimoy…
"Wahahahahaaaa... Wait a
minute, why am I laughing? I'm supposed to be depressed!" –Apocalymon
Joe:
Whatever you say Mr. Hot-and-Cold-running-water.
Tai: He was
probably the only villain to appear for, like, two episodes before we kicked
his can.
Matt: …what
about Datamon?
Tai/Sora:
<blush>
"That flappy winged joker
couldn't find water if he fell out of a boat!" – Gatomon
TK: Must
be talking about Piccodevimon.
Kari: Who
else?
"Tentomon to Izzymon, do
you read me?" – Tentomon
Izzy:
PROOF! Tentomon lays claim to this joke
first!
Tai: What
are you talking about.
Izzy: You’ll
see later on.
"Wow, Matt's like a real
grown-up." - Agumon
"Now if only I could get him to cut his hair." – Gabumon
Matt: I did
cut my hair! Notice how it was MUCH
shorter in the second season?
"Don't we get points for
enthusiasm?" – Gomamon
Joe: Sorry,
Kari, but I think Gomamon holds the record for the most bad jokes.
"I rule this ocean with an
iron hand, an iron tail, and a iron everything for that matter." –
Metalseadramon
Kari: …you
were saying?
Joe: Okay,
okay…I stand corrected. They’re all
lousy comedians.
Tai: But
not as bad as Gennai.
Yolei: Or
Azulongmon.
"If you save us we'll give
you anything you want, including candy!" – Gabumon
TK/Davis:
Now that’s what I call a good deal!
Matt: Not to
sound biased or anything, but I think that was definitely one of the best digimon
quotes of the season.
Original
‘Destined: <nod in agreement>
Me: Mmm…candy…<takes
another sip of tea>
"Chicks dig evil digimon.
Or at least, that’s what I keep telling myself." –Gotsumon
Mimi: Yeah…you
do that, now.
Yolei: This
from the girl who was stalked for over half a season by a yellow Hershey’s
kiss.
Mimi: Ugh…don’t
remind me.
"VenomMyotismon, king of
the undead. He’s the ‘un,’ and you’re the ‘dead.’" –DemiDevimon
TK:
<sticks his tongue out at the quote>
Me: Harsh
feelings?
TK: Well,
you’d be mad, too, if you’d gone through what I did.
Me:
True. Anyways, these next set of quotes
all go together…
"And don’t forget to tip
your waitress!" -Etemon
"I’m havin’ an extremely bad day, baby!" -Etemon
"Get digi with it! MetalEtemon’s in the house!" -MetalEtemon
"My data was chopped! Sliced! Whipped and purèed! I felt like a four-speed
blender, honey!" -MetalEtemon
"I’m not dirty! I just got detailed at the car wash yesterday!" –MetalEtemon
"Show of hands: How many
of you actually missed me?" –Etemon
Kari: “Not
I!” said the cat
Joe: “Not
I!” said the fish
TK: “Not
I!” said the…er…flying pig?
Me: That’s
right, now THIS was the most hated villain of all time. What an idiot; the king of bad jokes, and
singing for that matter. Why did he
hafta come back, anyways? …AND WHAT WAS UP WITH THAT TEDDY BEAR?!?
All: …
Tai: …waitasec;
when was he METALEtemon?
Joe/Mimi: We’ll
tell you later…
"The plot sickens." –Piedmon
Kari: Bad
pun…good episode.
TK:
Especially cause if focused on us, right ‘Kar?
TK/Kari: ^_^
Izzy:
*sniff* I was in it too…
TK/Kari: You
were a keychain!
"As we always say, all for mon and mon for all!" –Gomamon
Mimi: Not
really, but hey…
"Didn't I see this guy in
one of my nightmares?" - Izzy
"I wish you'd be more careful what you dream!" – Matt
"It's all my fault, right Sora?" - Tai
"Yes - uh...no?" – Sora
All:
<snicker>
Tai: SORA!
<makes pouty face>
Sora: I didn’t
mean it! Honest!
"To leave a message, press
1, now. To leave a fingerprint, press 2, now. $15 for the next 3 minutes.”
-Telephone
"Ok, next one!" -Joe
"Very curious. Does Joe behave
like this?" -Izzy
"Every single day." –Tai
Joe:
Hey! When did this become “pick on Joe”
day?
Izzy: Two
things. First, how should Tai know how
Joe acts every single day if they only met at summer camp?
Sora: And
two, gotta love those payphone quotes!
"Just one more thing."- Izzy
"Why do I wanna throw up every time you say 'just one more thing'?"-
Tai
Tai: I
later learned the answer to that one…the hard way.
"I've analyzed the weather patterns, taken the barometer measurements and
researched the temperature."- Izzy
"And what did you find?"- Tai
"That it is very, very, very hot."- Izzy
Matt:
Brilliant deduction, Sherlock!
Izzy: Why,
thank you Watson.
Tai: And to
think, we never thought of Izzy as being a comedian…though there WAS the time
he tried to pass for one in front of his parents…poorly, I might add.
"I was just resting my
eyes. - Matt
"Well, your eyes were snoring pretty loudly." – Joe
Matt: I
object! I don’t snore!
Tai: Yes,
you do…
All: O.O
Tai: Oh,
don’t start. Do you have any idea HOW
many shifts I took in the Digiworld over the course of all those months?
"If we had a compass, we'd know which way north was." - Izzy
"I know where North is!" - Tentomon
"Where?" - Izzy
"It's the opposite of south!" – Tentomon
Me: Hehe…I
love pulling that one on friends when we go walking around town, or the beach,
or anywhere for that matter!
Izzy: *pouts*
He stole my wittyness!
Me: That’s
not even a word.
Izzy: …so?
"You know, you're becoming
a real nuisance, son." - Etemon
"Of course. It's because I'm a teenager." – Joe
Joe:
Actually…I was only twelve at the time, but why spoil a good excuse?
"It's okay. He was only
kidding. Besides, I'm gonna make darn sure that the sun does come up!" -
Joe
"Wow Joe, I didn't know you had in in you!" - Sora
"Wow, what a man!" – Mimi
Joe
blushes faintly as both Mimi and Sora giggle.
Tai: Looks
like he got his 15 seconds of glory…
Matt: And
faced it as only Joe could.
Yolei: Gee,
Joe, I never knew you had it in you!
Kari: My
Hero!
This
only makes Joe blush further, as everybody starts laughing.
"Sora, something wonderful
is happening! I've never been able to fly this fast before!" - Biyomon
"Me too! Watch me go! Faster, faster!" - Patamon
"I don't care if you're faster as long as you're faster than this big
rolling teddy bear behind us!" – Sora
All:
<giggle>
Matt:
Another good joke.
Funny, too.
"Wow, you look different.
Did you cut your hair or something?" - T.K.
"No, I just haven't been using as much gel." – Matt
Tai:
Aha! I KNEW it!
Matt: A lie,
I tell you! All lies! I don’t use hair gel!
Me: Yeah,
yeah…that’s what Trowa said…
Matt: It’s
true! I mean, False! I mean…
"Wow! Look at them go!" - Tai (about Lady Devimon and Angewomon's
fight)
"I know I shouldn't watch this, but I can't take my eyes off!" - Izzy
"Get her Angewomon! That's right, knock that witch's butt off! Go!" –
Kari
Kari: That
was SOO much fun! If only the dubbers
hadn’t cut out the actual bi— I mean, catfight.
Tai: That
was…
Izzy: …an
interesting experience.
Matt: Man, I
missed all the good stuff.
Tai: You’re
fault for running away.
“I’m not going to hit you,
Tai.”- Izzy
“Can I hit you then?” - Agumon
“I wouldn’t mind a swipe myself!”- Tentomon
Tai: I’m
sensing some hostility here.
Izzy: *wacks
Tai in the back of the head*
Tai:
OW! What was that for?
Izzy: You
said I could!
Tai: THAT
WAS FOUR YEARS AGO!
"...Why do you get to eat the pizza while I have to eat the crust?!"
- Apocalymon
"I can't take all these metaphors anymore!" - Mimi, covering her ears
Sora: Ugh…me,
neither.
Matt: I
second that.
Joe: Who
wrote his material, Gennai?
"Wow, everyone's being so
nice." -Mimi
"It must be because of your
charming personality!" -Palmon
*pause*
"Something tells me we should just
nod our heads and go along." -Ogremon
"Yeah, right."-Meramon
"My light will lead us
towards the others." -Kari
"Don't look at me but I think it's
like this night light I used to have that guided me towards the bathroom."-TK
Kari:
<squeals> I remember that!
Sora:
Yeah. Don’cha miss the good old days?
TK: You
mean running for our lives in a giant sewer?
Getting chased by an evil clown? …actually, yeah…
"Trust me, I'm the floating,
glowing guy."-Gennai
Matt:
yeeaaaaahhhhh…
Tai:
Suuuuuure we will
Both:
<stare at quote suspiciously>
Yolei: Ugh,
thankfully they changed his personality in season 02.
Others: Amen.
"Does rock 'n rool have
this effect in your world?" -Tentomon
"Only on our parents!" -Sora
Sora: But
not nearly as strong as rap.
Matt: I don’t
do rap.
"Are you trying to contact
Gennai?" -Tentomon
"Well I'm not playing solitaire!"
-Izzy
Tai:
<leans over Izzy’s shoulders> Are you sure?
Izzy: Stop
that!
Tai: Come
on, Iz…what were you really doing on that thing?
Izzy: I
plead the fifth.
"We're the first humans to
be digitally processed. That means we're pioneers, like Marco Polo."-Izzy
"Oh, I know what he was famous
for! Marco!"-Tentomon
"Polo!"-Agumon
"Marco!"-Tentomon
"Polo!"-Patamon
"Marco!"-Tentomon
"Polo!" –Biyomon
All:
<groan at bad joke>
Tai: "What, do you think
I’m too dumb to understand?"
Izzy: "Yes, but I’ll tell you anyway."
Tai: Hey!
Sora: That’s
Izzy for you…blunt and to the point.
Computer: You have no new
messages. Okay?
Sora: No it is not okay! Stupid Tai.
Tai: Ah, go you your party!
Kari: Okay.
Tai: I can't believe Sora's gonna read my letter. Waitaminute...Unable to
deliver? I CAN'T BELIEVE SORA ISN'T GONNA READ MY LETTER! YOU TRY TO TELL A
GIRL YOU'RE SORRY AND YOUR COMPUTER LETS YOU DOWN!
Matt:
Sheesh, how long do you two spend in front of the computer trying to e-mail
each other, anyways?
Sora: (reads e-mail, gets all
teary-eyed) Stupid Tai…
Mimi: And on
that note, how many times are you going to call him Stupid?
Sora:
<blushing> Well…you see…I…er…
Willis: I need to do this by myself. I need to be alone.
Davis: Great! I'll go with you.
Yolei:
Typical Davis.
Davis:
What? I got him to open up, didn’t I?
Matt: *shreek in background* I
gotta go, Grandma just sat on T.K again.
TK: Oh,
the memories…the pain…<shudders>
Matt: I told
you never to sit on the couch in front of the coffee table. It’s your own fault.
Izzy: What happened?
Tai: I gave Sora this really great hairpin for her birthday, and then she said
"Oh, so you don't like my hairstyle then" and I said "Who could
tell? Your always wearing a hat"! *sighs*. It's all REALLY confusing.
Tai's e-mail to Sora: Dear Sora, I really sorry. I haven't felt this bad since
the threw up in your hat and didn't tell you before you put in on.
Sora's mom: Sora, Tai wants to
speak to you!
Sora: Tell him I'm not home.
Sora's mom: But I just told him you were.
Sora: Then make something up! *slams the door*
Sora's mom: I'm sorry, you have the wrong number.
Izzy: (To Tai) Sora said she's not home.
Izzy: Pft,
like that was hard to figure out.
Matt: What a
lovers tiff.
Tai: WHAT?!
Sora: Was
not! We’re just…friends!
Tai: Yeah!
TV Person: Phones are going dead worldwide. If your phone is dead, please call
your operator.
Tai: Again
with the telephone jokes.
T.K: You're going to give up?
Just like that? Listen Kari; I care too much about you to let you go without a
fight!
Kari: Huh?
T.K.: Uh…sorry. I gotta go. I’ll…talk
to you later?
Kari: T.K, remember this
morning when you said you cared about me? What did you mean by that?
T.K: Uh, you know, it meant, uh, stuff.
Kari: Well ya know what? I really care about you to.
Davis/Tai/Matt: WHERE
DID THIS COME FROM?!? O.O
TK: Ah…er…<hides
behind Kari in fear>
Others:
<giggle>
Cody's Granddad: "In all
my travels around the world, I have found one thing that cures all and solves
all problems... PRUNE JUICE!"
Cody: "Gee, grandpa, prune juice sure makes you wise..."
All:
<crack up>
Cody:
<curious> What’s so funny about that?
Yolei:
<pats his head, still giggling> You’ll understand when you’re older…
Yolei: *at a soccer game* "Go,
Ken, GO!"
Cody: "We're supposed to be rooting for Davis."
Yolei: "Oh yeah..."
Yolei: But
what would be the fun in that?
Ken:
<blushes> Thanks, Yolei.
Ken's Dad: "Did you talk
to his teacher? What did he say?"
Ken's Mom: "All he could talk about was something called 'Donkey
Madness!'"
Ken's Dad: "What?"
Ken's Mom: "I know. We don't even OWN a donkey!"
Ken: Oy…too
many Donkey Madness jokes.
Me: I’ll
say. This next one’s my favorite.
June: "What are you
doing?"
Davis: "Nothing."
June: "Looks like you're packing for a camping trip."
Davis: "It's your imagination."
Jun: "Are TK and the others going?"
Davis: "I don't remember."
Jun: "Is Matt going?"
Davis: "Matt moved to another country."
Jun: "Well, if all your friends are going, and Matt's going, can I go
too?"
Davis: "Sure you can go! GO AWAY!"
All
the Digidestined crack up. Matt slaps
Davis a high-five.
Matt: You ‘da
man, Davis! “Matt moved to another country”
Genius!
Davis: <bows>
Thank you, thank you!
"All right!" -Tai and
TK upon seeing Catherine
Me:
<slaps Tai and TK upside the head>
Tai: Hey!
TK: What
was that for?
Me:
<shrugs> I’ve been wanting to do that since I saw the episode.
Gatomon: "Why do they call
those things on the top of the TV rabbit ears, why not cat ears? When was the
last time you saw a rabbit sleeping on top of the TV?"
Kari: "This is what you think of?"
Kari: Surprisingly…yes.
Me: Stupid
dub lines…anyways, a digi-quotes fic wouldn’t be much without a few tamers
quotes. There aren’t many, but here
they are.
"You're going to
have to open your mouths much, much wider if you really want to swallow each
other."
-Calumon
Guilmon:
"I... Guil-mon?"
Takato: "Right. And I'm Takato."
Guilmon: "Ta-ka-to-mon?"
Takato: "No, Takato. I'm not a Digimon."
Guilmon: "Takatomon!"
Izzy: I told you! They stole that joke from Tentomon!
Tai: They stole a lot of
things from our series.
"Takatomon
digivolve to..." -Growlmon (dreaming)
Girls: Awww…
Izzy: That’s the weirdest
thing I’ve seen as of yet…and that’s saying a lot.
"I
told you, I'm not a 'mon!"
-Takato
"Takatomon?"
-Guilmon
Izzy: <still
complaining> Okay, okay…jokes over.
Matt: They have more running
gags than an episode of Animainiacs.
"Calumon
zoom zoom, here zoom, there zoom, Calumon zoom zoom, no underwear, ZOOM!"
-Calumon
All: …
Me: He also had a song that
ended in “…I’m still not wearing underpants!” or something like that. So cute. <*^_^*> He reminds me of a
little TK.
TK: <blushes>
"Leomon's
a hero! Leomon's a hero! The Devas don't got nothing, 'cause Rat-face is a
zero!"
-Calumon
All: <laugh>
Davis: Okay, I’ll admit; that
was funny!
"I
may be a bad influence, but I'm so good at it!"
-Impmon
’Destined:
<look at Authoress>
Me: <whistles
innocently> Who… me?
"What are you going to do? Use that little flame of yours to make me
some bad tea?"
-Renamon, to Impmon
Yolei: <sarcastically> Of
course…what would an anime be without the “tea”?
"Do peanut butters really taste good with bananas? Find out next time on
Digimon: Digital Monsters!"
-Davis, narrating
’Destined: <turn
to look at Davis>
Davis: <quietly flipping
through a large wad of bills> …what?
Azulongmon:
The light inside is hope. When all around you is darkness, you must keep the
light on inside your heart...
Azulongmon:
Crest of courage, crest of love, and the crest of knowledge come from the power
inside the digidestineds' hearts but the crest of light gives light to this
world and the crest
Me: <*^_^*> Bad jokes
or no…I like this guy!
TK/Kari: <look at each other,
the quote, back at each other, blink, then blush>
Cody:
...it's a control spire.
Kari: What's it doing there?
Gatomon: Controlling, spiring--the usual.
Kari: <groans> Another
bad pun by non other!
Joe: You’re right…she is
worse than Gomamon…but not by much.
(Cody
running out of apartement building with Upamon under his shirt)
Cody: Note to self; think of better way to sneak Upamon out of apartement.
(Crashed into Yolei)
Yolei: Hey! Be more careful next time!! Cody what have you been eating lately,
you must have gained 20 pounds!
Cody: It's Upamon...
Yolei (eyes wide): You ate Upamon?!?
Cody: Forget about it! Sora sent an email saying Biyomon's in trouble!
Upamon: Squak!
Yolei: Uh...your tummy's growling.
The Digidestined each roll off the pillows they were sitting
on, laughing their guts out. The
authoress, giggling herself, turns to the camera.
Me: Yes, I found the quote
that funny.
Yolei: Not to mention, VERY
cute!
Matt:
I've been living a lie..
Gabumon: You mean you're not a real blonde?
Matt:
All lies, I tell you!
Me:
<pats his shoulder> Of course, Matt…we believe you…*coughnotreallycough*
Matt:
You should talk.
Me:
<glares> At least I *admit* it!
Cody:
The only way not to look suspicious is to sneak quietly.
Izzy: Most interesting logic;
an oxymoron, if I’m not mistaken.
Me: Too…cute…can’t…resist…<glomps
Cody>
Cody: Ahhhh!
Principal
(over PA system): Will Mary Robertson please report to the office? Your locker
is missing.
TK/Kari: <sigh> The
telephones of season two…
Me: <cracking up> That
does it; I wanna go to YOUR school. The
funniest thing on our announcements was the time the girl started hyperventilating
from giggling so much.
**END
QUOTES**
Davis: Aww…already?
Me: Sorry. There were a few other good ones, mostly
involving “duckies & bunnies”, your snoring, and a few more season 01. Only, I hafta hurry ‘cause my Grandpa’s
taking me to a restaurant for a birthday dinner…
Matt/Tai: So we go home now?
Me: *shrugs* I gue—
*whipcrack*
At the familiar sound, Tai and Matt both disappear in a flash
of smoke, cutting the Authoress off mid-sentence for the second time
today. Before anyone can even shout out
in surprise, a second whipcrack, and TK vanishes. A third, and Davis is gone.
Yolei: What the fudge?
*whipcrack*
Yolei vanishes. The
Authoress quickly recognizes the sound as her whip, meaning only one
thing. Her muses! Getting up, with a snap of her fingers, the
setting disappears and the rest of the Digidestined are sent back to their
homes. Walking a few feet (allowing a
fallen sandbag to miss her by mere inches, evoking a few unprintable words from
the temp. muse), she turns to her computer.
Me: Okay, I KNOW they’re
responsible for all these disappearances now…but where are they? And what’s the connection…?
TO BE CONTINUED…
*NEXT TIME*
THE MISSING MUSES SAGA,
PART IV: THE POWER OF SPAM! (Card
Captor Sakura)
_____________________________________________________________________
If you’ve been paying
close attention, then subtle clues should hint towards the intentions of my
muses, or at least a connection between the “kidnappings”. A request fic of any kind will go out to the
first person to guess correctly. Leave
your answer in a review and/or e-mail
____________________________________________________________________
(1) One
of my favorite “formal” styles, I learned how to fix my hair just like Relena’s
in the series, with the two thin braids on either side pulled back. It’s pretty comfortable!
(2) I
don’t speak French, but a few of my friends take it in school, so this is a
very rough translation, and might not even be correct. Apologies to French speakers out there! *hangs
head in shame, as she is part French-Canadian*